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Post by Jon on Dec 27, 2010 18:14:21 GMT -1
Ulrika Johnson was rushed to hospital last night, it was reported that she badly injured herself when she sat on her mobile phone.
However doctors informed that her condition was comfortable, after all it wasn’t the first time she’s had an Ericsson up her arse !!
Guy says to his wife, “Alright you sexy thing, upstairs, now!”
The wife looks at him with a smile and says “Ohhhh, you horny bastard you!”
Guy reples “No seriously, England Game is starting… fuck off upstairs!”
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Post by Jon on Dec 28, 2010 18:34:48 GMT -1
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it!"
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Post by Jon on Jan 3, 2011 19:20:59 GMT -1
At school one day the teacher heard cat noises coming from the class, and she discovered little Jimmy with a cat up his jumper.
She said, "Why have you got your cat at school?"
Little Jimmy started crying. "I woke up this morning to hear the postman tell Mummy 'I'm gonna eat your p*ssy today!"
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Post by Jon on Jan 4, 2011 13:23:51 GMT -1
My mother-in-law has just passed away and her dying wish was to be cremated.
I can't believe it, two sets of Ashes to be thrilled about in one year.
I overheard my girlfriend saying she is expecting 10 inches tonight.
Either she was talking about this snow were expecting, or she wants me to fuck her twice.
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Post by Kirsty on Jan 5, 2011 23:46:04 GMT -1
A blind man was walking his guide dog when suddenly the dog lifted
it's leg and pissed all over the man's foot. The man gave the dog a biscuit.
A priest had watched this, and approached the blind man, and said to him.
"My son, that is an act of a true christian, you forgave the dog and gave
him a biscuit, Bless you for that."
"Yes father,", the blind man said,
"...and now that I know where it's mouth is, it's going to get a kick in the bollocks!"
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